Saturday, March 5, 2016

*** updated *** avalanche and flood danger warning !

by Becky Orellana

                                          Alpinist on the Mount Ling glacier

Meyonia meteorological services issued a warning concerning the possible collapsing of the Mount Ling glacier in Meyonia North due to temperatures increases.

All the access routes to the glacier had been blocked by the army and the nearby residents had been evacuated. Navigation in the New Sark channel had also been forbidden until further notice.
Besides the danger of avalanche and landslide the meteoroligical service also warned about the high risk of floods due to the collapse of the glacier and the snow melt in Meyonia South. All the low lands both in North and South are threatened by water including the Army North Camp and the airport and possibly the lowest portions of the main road.

Citizens are warned to avoid the areas near the Mount Ling and to be cautious in the low lands of both islands.

Becky Orellana

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

New Executive Plane Delivered

by Major R. Quander

Right in time before Christmas the new executive plane for the Meyonian government  had been delivered.
It is an Embraer D 170 with very exclusive interior and allows Meyonian officials and their guests to travel in a most luxurious way.
The plane travels at a speed of 870 km/h at a range of 3.334 kilometers.
It will be maintained by the MAF airforce staff.
Chief pilot is the most experienced Miss Robertina Rossini.

This picture shows major Randy Quander and pilot Robertina Rossini after the commissioning of the plane.
As a special christmas surprise it is planned to offer free  pleasure flights for  Meyonian maids.
Those flights are sponsored by CUM.

As it will be a surprise, please do not tell it to the maids :-)

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Super Maid !

by Sandra Hemingway

Hello all !

Do you know who is Super Maid ? No ? Well all maids know this story...
Sometimes a maid with a pure heart is exhausted after a never ending working day and has still tons of chores to do.... and suddenly Super Maid appears with a bright flash in her blue costume and red cape !
She flies everywhere and everything is done in seconds : floor is shining, laundry is washed, dried up and tidied up in the closet, dishes are bright clean !
Then she gently smiles, pats the cheek of the maid filled with wonder and vanishes in another bright flash !
Don't think it is a legend : I met a maid whose cousin had a friend whose fellow maid met her !!
But be careful... Super Maid comes to help when a maid with a pure heart is in distress... you should never, but never, invoke her !
If you do it...(I can't help trembling as I 'm typing) ..well...Demon Maid might come !! She wears black ragged clothes, some even told she has horns and long dirty claws.... She undoes all maid work, spreads dirt and disorder everywhere and vanishes in a puff of dirt...
Only maids can see her and when the upset Mistress asks why everything is dirt.... she would never believe the Demon Maid story and the poor maid gets punished besides being forced to clean once again.... Demon Maid is so evil !!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

La Vicomtesse club grand opening

by Becky Orellana

The famous band Yasmine and the Beatniks performed for the second time in Meyonia at the Vicomtesse club grand opening on September 23 in front of a large audience.

                                          The Beatniks in concert in Meyonia

After this successful opening we invite Meyonians and tourists to visit the club which not only includes the cabaret where the concert took place, but also a fitness room, a massage room, a sauna, a greedy game room and the cozy ladies bar !
Everyone will find enjoyment at the Vicomtesse !

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Maids strike is over

by Becky Orellana

Home Secretary Randy Quander ordered candidate Purple Kayo house to be cleaned officially for public health purposes.
Maids, city garbage collectors and a MAF decontamination team had hard time to clean and disinfect the house during several hours.

                                          Decontaminaion team members and a city maid
                                          inside Purple Kayo house.

Perdita Deluca who started the maids strike acknowledged that the action is over after Purple Kayo team member Silvia Seita stated that CUM (Council of United Maids) will take part in further talks and potential punishments wont include the use of whips, crops or other harming items.
Nevertheless Perdita Deluca stated she calls for voting incumbent President Puifan Ling.

Monday, September 7, 2015

Meet the Xocos

by Becky Orellana

Hello dear followers !

I went into the jungle too and I met the Xocos tribe on the tracks of our maid Sandra.
First of all I'm so sorry but I didn't snap any photo... Why ? Xocos were scared of the camera, you know, the "steal your soul" thing when they see their pic !
I tried to convince them but no way !  I rather gave up before they get, let's say unfriendly... I was alone in the jungle with them far away from any "civilized" people after all !

I was more successful with my perfume Chanel n° 5 spray. They first sniffed me...hem embarrassing.
But after a bit of doubt they enjoyed a little spray, I hope the scent did not scare the game away during their next hunt !

Oh I forgot : Xocos met our Sandra ! Well they didn't know her name but when I told about a prude girl they identified her...
She didn't get unnoticed in the jungle among natives running almost nekkie and herself as prude as ever...
None recalls to have seen Sandra nude since her birth...maybe she has got a third nipple like Scaramanga and none knows it !

Well I went back in Meyonia without unveiling Sandra nipples mistery but I long to meet the Xocos again !

Stay tuned

Monday, August 24, 2015

Jungle Sandra

by Sandra Hemingway

Hello dear readers !
Bored of Meyonia policy ? Lets talk about Amazonian adventures !

Well I was caught beteween Miss Purple orders and solidarity with my fellows maids on strike, so I run away until everything is settled !
And so I 'm now a runaway maid wandering in the jungle of Amazonia !
                                          That's me, your maid Sandra, crossing a river on
                                          a rope ! Watch out for the  crocodile below !

It is easier than I thought... we maids are used to sleep on the ground and to be satisfied with a few leftovers. And in the jungle I met a few fellows Meyonians, militaries on survival training and settlers who gave me a hand or two !
So now I roam in the jungle, I fish, I collect fruit and corn, I..hem...stole a chicken in a village too.
I trade food at the post or with native tribes... my friends Yatares and Xocos !
I also watch my steps, stay away from bandits, snakes and crocs... Well croc meat is yummy but I have no weapons to kill one... By luck I traded bananas for a big piece of croc steak and made a special soup....
I should keep the recipe for our hotel : croc meat, fish, chicken (with its feathers !) corn and bananas. The taste is, lets say, surprising ! But gives you lots of energy.
That's all for now folks ! Kisses from the deep jungle and..don't tell Miss Purple where I am !